{<< THE STRAP!!!!! BY FIZOGEN >>>>>

[UltimateFighter]

The STRAP (TM) made me the man i am today. I would be nothing without the strap. One day while looking for supplements, a crooked but none the less smiling gnc employee offered me the strap. I was skeptical at first but then i decided to pay it as im someone who likes to spenmd 99 dollars on things and if they dont work i just put it in the trash or donate to the nearest charity.

I put it on and SHAZZZAAAMM... i ate an apple and then i ran up the mountain the whole 8.5 miles to my gym and lifted weights for 3 hours and then ran all the way back home and then i got home and realised that i was holding the 220lb dumbbell and i had forgotten to put it back. oops! then i had a post workout apple and made love to my wife lal through the night while wearing it. i came more than she did but when she fell asleep at 3am i was still raring to go so i ran back to my gym at 3am and lifted weighst for some more hours until boredom started to set in. i had completed all the machines so i started making things out of the weight plates i heop they dont find out it was me that broke them and bent them up like that.

After that one day i went back to work after eating one more apple. i immediatley got complimented on my manliness by eveyr single woman on the way. i am now the boss of my corporation and i owe it all to the strap!!!!!

oh and did i mention that the strap cures cancer and is being banned by the IOC as soon as they find out what the strap does. any athlete caught using the trap will be disqualified and imprisoned in a south american country where they dont give you food and only sweage water.

thanks fizogen!

[mcsteveof2h2h]

lol man i need to go to GNC and pick one of those up!

GNC is great they have awesome prices and extremely intelligent staff!

[UltimateFighter]

when im in gnc sometimes ill ask a member of staff about a certain something to see what they know and i ask them very hard questions. here is what a conversation in gnc should be like:

Me: Hi, im looking for something thatll help me put on more muscle.

GNC MAN: OK! Well, we've got all kinds of mass builders. How about this Brand X! It's only $13

Me: Great. WIll it promote greater muscular gains? I mean, will i get more muscle tha ni would without it

GNC MAN: No.

Me: Well, will the muscle i am going to get develop any faster cos i take this?

GNC MAN: No.

Me: Well, if i dont get extra muscle or faster muscle growth then why should i take it?

GNC MAN: ahh.. it tastes less chalky than many others and if you eat this, you wont have to eat regular tasty food!

Me: But i like regular, tasty food.

GNC MAN: *looking at label* But this has a biopolymeric protein complex, crystalline fructose complex carbohydrate system.

Me: So does regular tasty food. Do you have one supplement in this store that will put more muscle on me?

GNC MAN: No.

Me: Bye!

[gncrep]

that seems about right.

Normally I encounter customers like this:

Me: Is there anything I can help you find?

Cus: I'm looking for something to build mass.

Me: Well we have weight gainers over here.

Cus: No no, I dont want to put on weight. I want to put on mass, theres a difference. I also want something to get rid of these (holds love handles).

Me: Oh your looking for magic, no we dont have any of that here.

[Dizzle1]

What's wrong w/ paying up to $60.00 for something when you can get it else where for 1/4 of the that price. I know people that still shop there....****ing morons

[capnsavem]

lol- that's typical
that seems about right.

Normally I encounter customers like this:

Me: Is there anything I can help you find?

Cus: I'm looking for something to build mass.

Me: Well we have weight gainers over here.

Cus: No no, I dont want to put on weight. I want to put on mass, theres a difference. I also want something to get rid of these (holds love handles).

Me: Oh your looking for magic, no we dont have any of that here.

[gncrep]

Customers are great. They never want to commit to one thing. They insist on building muscle and cutting fat, and they'll dismiss any notion of sticking to one. Whenever I encounter someone like this I recommend anadrox because it says nitric oxide fat burner, and I get like $4 commission for selling one, or I'll send them down a whole muscletech route (because MT advertises building muscle and burning fat all the time), and I'll offer them a goldcard discount if they buy alot.

Maybe this is why GNC employees have that reputation of not knowing a great deal. We know anyone serious about supplements wouldn't be in our store, so we exploit them by recommending the products that have they highest commission: Muscletech, MHP, and Vyo-tech. Some way to do business huh?

[cole_jacked]

gncrep i will give you cred for being staight up and letting the whole world know that gnc is shitty and over priced, but i have to admit the protein i get at my local gnc is as cheap as it is on here...i take the ON whey (5lb) and it sells there (on sale all the time) $30 plus with the gold card it is cheaper than here with shipping...i'll buy from here if i am buying any thing else at all though

[Dizzle1]

GNC rep they are holding a spot for you in HELL.

[UltimateFighter]

GNC rep they are holding a spot for you in HELL.

lolololololol

[gncrep]

GNC rep they are holding a spot for you in HELL.

I'm just doing what almost every successful American has done, exploit the stupid for lots of money. Actually, GNC is doing it. I just work for them, and if I didn't someone else would, so it might as well be me. I'm not that bad either, I'll tell people what sucks and what works, or that I don't know what the hell hyssop herb is for and not to ask me again.

I agree with the protein thing though. I use gncs 100% whey because its 94 servings for $18, and hell might have to hold 2 spots because I'm a bigger guy (19in bicep, 240 lbs)